Longing For
by Blondejackwolf
Summary: 4 years after the battle of Hogwarts Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley are getting married! This should be a happy time, right? Well not exactly…. We all know wedding planning brings stress. Hermione and Ron try to put off their hesitant feelings as just stress. But what happens when old crushes reappear?
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

"Mione, have you seen my tie?" Ron bellowed from the bedroom. Hermione rolled her eyes before answering "I laid it out on the bed next to your jacket. Honestly, you'd think you were blind, the way you act sometimes. And would you please stop using that childish nickname, Ronald?"

Hermione and Ron were engaged to be married in 3 months. Today, they were heading off to the wedding of Harry and Ginny. Both Ron and Hermione were stressed from the wedding planning, Hermione more so of course, considering she double and triple checked all plans and appointments. Not to mention Ron kept doing everything possible to annoy her-like using that ridiculous nickname.

Hermione sighed under her breath and stared at herself in the bathroom mirror. Her hair was as tamed as it could be and her makeup was subtle. She wore an Emerald body-hugging sleeveless dress that landed just above her knees along with black 3 inch pumps. Working in the Ministry and being around other witches had helped to improve her fashion sense. Stylish yet comfortable was her preference.

Ron ambled into the bathroom as Hermione took one last glance in the mirror and turned away. Ron wrapped his arms around her, but Hermione pulled away.

"We are going to be late. Let's get going" she told him and led the way out of the bathroom.

Ron followed dutifully, grasping at her hand. Once outside the front door of their flat, they apparated to the Burrow, which is where the wedding was being held.

Looking around, they spotted some people they knew from Hogwarts, some from the Mistry, and most of the Weasleys, with Molly heading straight for them with her arms outstretched.

"Oh Hermione, I have missed you so much!" Molly cried in her ear. Hermione returned the enthusiastic hug. "There's my Ronald! I missed you as well" Molly turned her hug on Ron.

While Ron was stuck in Molly's bear hug, Hermione took the opportunity to look around, making note of who was already there.

When Molly released Ron, she encouraged the couple to go and greet the others, insisting she had a few food preparations yet. "I see Seamus!" Ron said excitedly, grabbing Hermione's hand and half dragging her across the lawn. Hermione managed to pull her hand free, scowling behind Ron's back in annoyance. "I see Luna. You go talk to Seamus, and I will go see Luna" Hermione answered. Ron agreed and Hermione breathed a sigh of relief and the couple went in their separate directions.

Hermione wasn't actually heading to talk to Luna. She just needed a few moments to breathe without Ron breathing down her neck. She loved him, she really did. But she just got so irritated by him so easily lately. At first. she thought it was just stress from all the wedding planning. But now, with the wedding only 3 months away, she was second guessing that thought. The other night she had made a list of all the pros and cons of marrying Ron. She was absolutely stunned to see the "cons" side more than doubled the "pros". Now she was asking herself "Do I even want to marry Ron? Or is it just that everyone else makes it seem as if I HAVE to?" Hermione just wanted to be happy. She wanted to feel the butterflies in her stomach. She had only felt that once before-and it was not with Ron. It was in their 6th year at Hogwarts. 10 minutes in a broom closet with someone off limits. Someone she shouldn't even want to be in the same room with, let alone do the things they did in that broom closet. They both swore it would never happen again, and they would speak of it to no one. But that did not stop Hermione from revisiting that experience in her memories.

_Flashback:_

_It was a week before final exams. Hermione had spent the last 6 hours in the library studying. Draco Malfoy was the only other person in the library at thus time of evening. Hermione kept glancing up and catching Malfoy looking at her. The first few times, Hermione quickly averted her eyes and hung her head in shame, assuming he was staring at her untamed hair, or maybe there was leftover food on her robes. Whatever it was, it definitely had his attention, and was the source for Hermione's embarrassment. Eventually, Hermione looked up, noticed Malfoy was staring at her, and held his gaze, just waiting to see his face curve into a sneer or smirk. Holding her breath waiting to be called a mudblood, she matched his stare, raising her chin defiantly. Malfoy nodded at her, gave a slight smirk, and nodded his head at the door to the library. Hermione sat stunned, not sure what to make of that. She watched as Malfoy gathered his things and headed for the door, looking over his shoulder one last time, catching Hermione's eye again and winking. _

_Hermione was confused. Her heart was racing. "What did that mean?" she wondered to herself. "Surely he doesn't want me to follow him. Unless it's a trap" Hermione worried. Part of her was intrigued-she'd had a secret crush on Malfoy since 4__th__ year. Another part of her was curious. "What did that mean? If it was just to make fun of me…." Hermione's thoughts trailed off as fear gripped her heart. "What if it was a trap? It was late, most of the students were probably already in bed-the library had stayed open late for those students who wanted to take the opportunity. With the halls as empty as they were, the chances of help coming if it was indeed a trap were slim. _

_Hermione mulled it over in her mind a bit more before her Gryffindor bravery won. She would go and see just what Malfoy had up his sleeve. She quickly gathered her things and left the library, following the direction Malfoy took. As she headed down the empty hall, she withdrew her wand, holding it steady at her side as she attempted to take deep calming breaths. She didn't see Malfoy anywhere. After reaching almost the end of the corridor, a door to her right opened, an arm grabbed her forearm and pulled her inside. Hermione swung wildly at the air, eventually making contact. "OW! What the bloody hell was that for, Granger?" a familiar voice yelled. _

"_Lumos" Hermione's wand tip lit up, revealing the person that had grabbed her was Draco Malfoy. The two of them were now in a broom closet. "Well you scared me" Hermione answered. "What is going on?" she demanded. "Just relax Granger. You may enjoy violence, but I have no intention of hurting you." Draco smirked. "Then tell me what is going on right now, Malfoy". Hermione kept her wand ready. She took a glance around the closet and noticed it was just the two of them. Her heart thudded faster. Malfoy inched closer, slowly closing the distance between them. "Wait, what are you doing?" Hermione screeched. Malfoy kept moving until their bodies were only inches apart and placed his left hand on the back of Hermione's neck, his right on her waist. "Wha-" Hermione's repeated question was cut short by Malfoy's lips softly meeting hers. Hermione resisted at first, her heart thudding in her chest, but finally gave in with a soft sigh, parting her lips slightly to allow the tip of Malfoy's tongue to slide into her mouth. Their tongues danced, while Hermione's hands wandered up his chest, to his neck, into his hair. She ran her fingers through his hair which caused the Slytherin to let his hand wander up from her waist to the side of her breast. She gasped slightly and he moved his hand back where it was. Hermione kept one hand in his hair and let the other trail down his chest until it reached his belt buckle. Malfoy let loose a throaty growl and thrust his hips forward. Hermione took that as a sign to let her hand trail just a bit lower, just enough to feel the bulge in his pants. Malfoy pushed into her hand, wanting more. Hermione gave a small moan and arched her back, pressing her breasts into Malfoys chest. Malfoy bit her bottom lip with a bit of pressure, earning a moan and sigh from Hermione. Malfoy let his hand travel to the hem of Hermione's skirt, which brought Hermione back to Earth. Her eyes flew open. She moved back from Malfoy. Malfoy opened his eyes in surprise, staring at Hermione who was taking slow deep breaths. "You alright, Granger?" He inquired. Hermione was speechless. She didn't know whether to fall back into his embrace or run. This was Malfoy, the boy who had tortured her and her friends for years. He was a Slytherin. He Hated her. Right? Malfoy just smirked at her, watching her inner battle. Hermione grabbed her wand from the floor and stood up straight, looking into Malfoy's eyes. Malfoy looked at her lips, then back to her eyes before speaking. "Thank you, Granger". With that he opened the door to the broom closet and left a very confused Hermione with butterflies in her stomach. _

Hermione had revisited that memory many times over the years, bringing the butterfly feeling with it, although she and Malfoy never did have another experience like that. She never spoke of it to anyone else either. Hermione was secretly hoping to see him at this wedding, since he worked as an auror like Harry. Hermione looked around, noticing Ron was still talking to Seamus, but now Lavender Brown had joined them. Hermione rolled her eyes and inwardly groaned-that girl was never far from their lives. Just then she felt a hand on her shoulder. Hermione whirled around, her heart thudding, hoping to see grey eyes, but instead she saw Luna. Hermione tried to hide her disappointment and smiled at the blonde. "Hello Luna" Hermione said. "Oh hello, Hermione. Even though you are disappointed it is me. I understand." Luna said dreamily. Hermione tried to compose her face, cleared her throat, and said "Oh no, Luna, just a bit frustrated to see Lavender with Ron, that's all" "That is very kind of you, Hermione, to try to spare my feelings. But I am not upset. I must go now. I see Blaise." With that she gave Hermione a light squeeze on the shoulder and walked away, leaving a very baffled Hermione behind.

"Blaise?" Hermione wondered to herself.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

The wedding guests moved towards their seats. Hermione saw Ron waving her over. Hermione gave a small smile and headed in his direction. She took her seat next to him and he grabbed her hand, giving it a squeeze accompanied by a huge smile from him. She lightly squeezed his hand in return and turned her attention to the front.

The ceremony was lovely and Ron and Hermione made their way through the crowd afterwards to congratulate Ginny and Harry. While the 4 friends spoke, Hermione let her eyes wander through the crowd again, searching for a platinum blonde head.

"Right, Hermione?" She heard Ron's voice ask. "Hmm?" Hermione turned her attention back to her fiancé. "I was just telling Harry and Ginny we would love to have them join us on our honeymoon trip to the states." Ron beamed at her. Hermione forced a smile, and said through clenched teeth "Sure, Ron" Harry and Ginny had fake smiles plastered on her face and were looking apologetically at Hermione behind Ron's back. Hermione just shook her head. "I'm a bit tired, Ron. I'm ready to go home". Hermione announced. "Oh sure, 'Mione, just give me a few minutes to go say bye to Seamus" without waiting for an answer, Ron was gone. Hermione breathed a sigh of relief. She finally had a few minutes by herself just to breath. She watched Lavender join Seamus and Ron again. She furrowed her brow, but then realized she actually didn't feel bothered by the sight. "Hmm, that is odd" she pondered.

A hand on her shoulder broke her thoughts. Hermione whirled around, expecting once again to see the blonde Ravenclaw. Instead she was met with light grey eyes and a smirk. "It couldn't be" Hermione couldn't believe her eyes. In front of her stood Draco Malfoy. Her stomach responded with the butterflies again. "Hello, Hermione" Draco drawled. Hermione opened her mouth to respond, but no words came out. "What's the matter?" Draco asked. "No hello for an old friend?"

"I'd hardly call you a friend" Words finally came to her. At her words, Draco's smirk was replaced by a snarl "I should have known better than to think you could let the past go" With that, Draco turned on his heel and started to walk away. "Wait, Draco!" Hermione called. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. It's just that, our past hasn't exactly been all sunshine and rainbows" Hermione quickly explained. She tentatively offered her hand, Draco eyed it a moment before his smirk returned and he took a step back towards Hermione. "I would REALLY like to leave the past right where it belongs" Draco said softly. "Except, of course, for one fine memory where I spent a few wonderful minutes in a broom closet with a gorgeous witch" With that, Draco accepted Hermione's outstretched hand and planted a small, soft kiss on the back of it. Hermione blushed and her heart fluttered, accompanied by those butterflies in her stomach again. This is what she wanted. "May I take you out to dinner sometime?" Draco asked, releasing her hand. "Oi, ferret! Get away from her!" Ron's voice interrupted Hermione's thoughts. Draco took a step back at the sight of Ron approaching. "Ah, Weasel, relax. I'm not here to steal her. Just saying help to an old school chum." Draco replied. "You never were and never will be a friend to Hermione, or any of us for that matter. I don't want you anywhere near her. Matter of fact, I forbid it!" Ron declared. With that, Hermione placed her hand on Ron's arm. "Hey now you don't get to decide who I am friends with" She corrected Ron. "But 'Mione, it's Draco bloody Malfoy! He's a Death Eater! He called you a Mudblood!" Ron protested. "Enough, Ronald. I've asked you repeatedly not to call me that. He is, in fact, Draco Malfoy, but he is no longer a Death Eater. He works in the Auror department with Harry, or did your busy Quidditch schedule make you forget that?" Hermione didn't wait for an answer before continuing on "Draco has invited me to dinner. I am going with my FRIEND. I will see you when I get back home. Don't wait up." Draco gave Ron a smug smile. Ron's face was red as a tomato and his mouth was hanging open. "But 'Mione you can't" he pleaded feebly. "Correction, Ronald. I can, and I am. Goodbye" With that, Hermione turned and headed away from the Burrow to the apparition spot, Draco close behind.

Dinner found them at a very fancy restaurant Hermione had only heard about. _Ron would never take me somewhere as nice as this _Hermione thought to herself. Draco had been a perfect gentleman so far, holding doors open for her, and pulling out her chair. Now, sitting across from each other at the dinner table, Hermione was at a loss for words. Draco started up conversation "Still with Weasel, I see" "His name is Ron Weasley. And yes, we are getting married soon." Hermione replied with a stifled laugh. "Look, as long as he refers to me as ferret, he will be the Weasel." Draco said with a laugh. "I missed you" Draco's face grew serious as he spoke. "I wish I never treated you the way I did. I wish I could take back every hateful, nasty word I said to you. I wish I never caused you any grief. I do hope, one day, you will be able to forgive me."

Hermione was taken aback by Draco's words. This man sitting in front of her was so very different from the young schoolboy bully that tormented her and her friends. _Was it possible he really did change? _Hermione wandered to herself. She smiled softly at Draco. "I try not to hold grudges. It's not healthy." She replied. Draco beamed-actually beamed. His smile brought a smile to Hermione's face and soon the two of them were laughing and having conversations as if they were in fact just 2 old school friends. The night went well, and at the end of dinner, Draco offered to accompany her to make sure she got home alright. "That's alright" She declined. "It will just cause more issues with Ron's jealousy." Draco chuckled, remembering Ron's reaction. "Can't say I wouldn't enjoy riling him up" Draco replied. Hermione laughed and lightly socked Draco on the arm. "Thank you for dinner. I truly enjoyed it." "Well I hope it isn't just a one time thing. I understand you are getting married, and do not want to come between that. But I gotta be honest with you, Hermione. I like you. And I wish I had a chance to see where this goes. Guess I'm just too late" Draco looked sullen as he finished his sentence. Before Hermione could reply, she heard a voice call her name. "Hermione! Hermione Granger with THE Draco Malfoy? What is going on here?" The voice all but screeched. Hermione winced at the sound, instantly recognizing the obnoxious voice. Lavender Brown was rushing towards her. "Why are you here with HIM?" Lavender shot Draco a disgusted look. Draco responded with a smirk "Because Hermione enjoys my company". Lavender turned back to Hermione and said cooly "How would Ron feel if he knew his beloved fiancé was out snogging a known Death Eater" "I am no longer a Death Eater" Draco spoke before Hermione could. "Ah that may be, but I notice you did not deny the snogging part." Hermione shot Lavender a seething look. "Believe what you want. I will not waste my time arguing with the likes of you. We all know you just want Ron all to yourself." Hermione turned away from her. "Come on, Draco" "I am going to go see Ron right now and tell him!" Lavender cried. "Do what you want, Lavender." Hermione walked away with a baffled Draco next to her.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

"What was that all about?" Draco inquired. "I thought you were happily engaged. Why would you encourage her to tell Weasel anything?" Hermione let out the breath she had been holding in a big puff. "That silly bint just knows exactly how to get under my skin. It's no secret she still has feelings for Ron" Hermione replied, ignoring Draco's use of the nickname again. "Well you let her get under your skin. It only makes sense she would continue doing it then." Draco replied sensibly. "Hermione shot him a glare that lasted only seconds before breaking into a laugh. "Why do you have to hit me with logic? I'm supposed to be the logical one" "If you remember correctly, I wasn't far behind you. Academically speaking, of course" Draco waggled his eyebrows suggestively. Hermione gave him a light smack on the arm. "Enough, Draco. I am engaged. I am getting MARRIED. Wow that sounds so funny hearing myself say it" Hermione shook her head. "You don't exactly seem like a woman who is looking forward to getting married." Draco observed. "Tell me, Hermione, are you truly happy?" Draco wondered. Hermione answered instantly "Of course. Why else would I be getting married?" Draco stared into Hermione's eyes, silver piercing brown, and was quiet a long moment before he spoke "Now, tell me the non-rehearsed version. What does Hermione Granger truly want?" Hermione thought a moment before opening her mouth "I am very happy to be marrying the love of my life" Hermione nodded in affirmation. Draco studied her momentarily, but then responded with "Okay, Hermione. Whatever you say. I think it's about time to get you home to your FIANCE." Draco drew the word out slowly. "Yes, I should be getting home. But, Draco, maybe we can meet again sometime? Lunch, perhaps?" Hermione asked. Draco visibly hesitated before responding "I would enjoy that very much. But are you sure that is a good idea?" He asked softly. "I don't want to cause any trouble for you with Weasel". "Weasel—Ronald! Will be just fine" Hermione said with a laugh. "Now can you please stop calling him that before you cause me to slip up and say that to him?" Hermione pleaded. "For you, anything. But I make no promises of how and where I may use it outside of your company." Draco drawled, causing Hermione to laugh again.

Back at their flat, Ron was pacing the living room when he heard the front door open. He whirled around and stared at Hermione, who looked surprised to see him. "Well it's about time" Ron snapped. "What are you doing up?" Hermione ignored his argumentative statement. "You, my fiancé, goes and has dinner with another man. But not just any other man, but the ferret who tormented us all those years. Then, I have Lavender come here and tell me she saw the two of you snogging?" Ron ranted, turning red in the face once more. Hermione waited patiently for Ron to finish yelling before she spoke. "I did not snog Draco. We barely even made any physical contact. He was a perfect gentleman if you must know. Lavender enjoys trying to make my life Hell. She is still infatuated with you and was probably hoping she would break us up." Lavender-me-what?" Ron sputtered. "Honestly, Ronald, it's not hard to notice. I am going to bed. We can discuss this more in the morning, if we must." Hermione turned and headed for the bedroom, leaving Ron standing in the middle of the living, still wearing the confused look on his face.

The next morning was no better. Hermione was awakened by Ron's stomping. She blearily opened her eyes and looked in the direction of the noise. Ron was pacing again. This time in their bedroom, and he was stomping as loudly as he could. Hermione groaned and hugged a pillow over her head, trying to block out the noise, but to no avail.

"What is going on, Ronald?" Hermione snapped. Ron whirled around, glaring at her. "Well it's about time!" Ron yelled. "What was all that rubbish last night about Lavender still having a thing for me after all these years?" Hermione rolled her eyes. "Of course. You woke me up because of Lavender. How fitting." Hermione fell back against the pillows. "Bloody right I woke you up! You started this by saying that last night and I want to know why you would say something so ridiculous. It's, because of that stupid Malfoy, isn't it?" Ron asked accusatorily. "Merlin, here we go again with the Malfoy business!" Hermione said, throwing her hands in the air. "You want to do this, Ron, let's do this. I enjoyed my time last night with Malfoy, that is true. I am sure Lavender still has feelings for you. She makes it obvious-if you weren't so oblivious to everything, you would notice too. Or maybe you already do and are pretending you don't just to humor me. Whatever the case is, Ronald, I don't care. I am tired. I'm just tired of this constant battle with you. We used to be best friends, now we can barely hold a conversation without arguing." Hermione rambled on. "By the way, it was very rude of you to assume we would BOTH enjoy having Harry and Ginny join us for our honeymoon." Hermione glared at Ron, all the anger had rushed to the surface now. Ron stared back, bewildered. "Are you unhappy with me, Hermione? Why haven't you expressed your feelings sooner?" Ron asked. Hermione sighed. She was torn. She needed to decide if she should be upfront with Ron and tell her what she was really longing for, or if she just kept it all bottled up and acted as if everything was okay? After all, everyone else practically pushed Ron and her together. The two of them breaking up would change so many things. Could they even go back to being friends? Not likely….Hermione decided to play it safe. "Don't worry about it, Ron. I'm just cranky from being woken up. Let's go have breakfast." Hermione offered a half-hearted smile. Ron studied her a moment longer. "Alright. If you say so" Ron replied in an unsure tone.

The next few days were stressful for the couple. They each tried to go about their days as usual, but whenever they were in each other's company, they barely spoke, only when necessary. Meanwhile Hermione received an owl from Draco, asking her to lunch in a few days. Hermione happily accepted and spent her time looking forward to it and pondering what she would wear. _It's just lunch._ She told herself. But that did nothing to get rid of the butterflies that took up residence in her belly just at the very thought of Draco. She tried to ignore that nagging voice in the back of her mind telling her she should not feel that way for Draco, but instead should get butterflies for Ron. But the truth was, she didn't feel anything romantic for Ron. She spent a lot of time the past few days just thinking about her relationship, and its purpose. She had come to realize they rushed their whole relationship based on what others wanted and expected. Harry and Ginny were basically the perfect couple. They were always inviting Ron and Hemione out on double dates. Then you had Mrs. Weasley who was constantly gushing about what an adorable couple the two of them made. Not to mention all the wedding preparations. Did it really make sense to throw all that planning away just based off a few unhappy feelings? Hermione wondered if the fact that Draco had reappeared into her life had something to do with her sudden uncertainty. In that moment Hermione decided she would just end all contact with Draco when they met for lunch.

Finally, the day arrives and Hermione heads out to meet Draco. She apparated to the street a block away from the restaurant, deciding the short walk would help settle her nerves. As she approached the front of the restaurant, she saw Draco standing outside of it, and he was holding a bouquet of roses. Hermione hesitated. The sight of him immediately brought the butterflies back to her stomach. She felt a blush rise up her neck and over her face. Immediately, she lost her nerve. _How can I end whatever this is? _Draco noticed her hesitation and his smile slowly disappeared. He took a step forward, but by then Hermione was moving towards him again. "Hey" she greeted him. "hey yourself" he replied playfully. "are you okay?" He asked. "Let's just go inside." Hermione moved towards the door, but Draco beat her to it, opening the door for her. Hermione gave him a small smile before walking into the restaurant. Draco followed her as she led the way to a table. Draco pulled out her chair for her and she took her seat. He sat down across from her. What's going on, Granger. I can see something isn't right." Draco asked. "I don't even know where to begin." Hermione chewed her bottom lip and looked up at Draco with troubled eyes. "How about you just start at the beginning" Draco suggested softly. "You are going to hate me." Hermione groaned. "Granger, contrary to popular belief, I never did, nor could I ever. Just talk to me. I promise, whatever is bothering you, I can help you get through it." Draco spoke reassuringly. "But that's just it, Draco. It's you!" Hermione cried, causing a few heads to turn in their direction. "Me? What have I done?" Draco asked, confusion written all over his face. "You appeared. You came back in my life and messed everything up." Hermione declared. "So you don't want to be friends is what you're saying?" Draco asked, rising to his feet. "I do!" Hermione replied. "Then what the bloody hell is your damn problem?" Draco asked, frustrated and confused by the situation. "I don't know!" Hermione said, tears welling in her eyes. "Well what do you want from me then?" Draco inquired. "Because I'm very confused right about now. I'm not sure if I have given you the wrong impression so far, but I don't want to come between you and Weasel. I don't want to be the reason for your troubles. All I want right now is to be your friend, Hermione." She let the tears fall from her eyes. "But I don't know what _I_ want." Hermione insisted. "Then until you figure that out, I think it's best we had some space." Draco turned from the table. "You know how to get in touch with me when things are more clear for you. I refuse to be the cause of yet another problem." With that Draco strode out the restaurant leaving Hermione with tears openly streaming down her face. She did not know a pair of eyes were watching her from outside the restaurant and had witnessed the whole spectacle.


End file.
